Kai is now 12 weeks old! I can't believe how fast this time has flown by. My maternity leave officially ended yesterday, but I've decided to just finish out the week with some vacation time! I will truly be cherishing these last few days of not having to work with my little bub, but I'm trying my best to keep a positive attitude about next week. It's another great step of getting back to some more normalcy in life.
One thing that I'm so relieved about with Kai though is he's been sleeping through the night successfully every night for the last 4 weeks. I am one well rested mama and really hoping this habit sticks with me going back to work. I definitely need my sleep to make it through the work day! Whenever I tell people though that he sleeps through the night already they tell me how lucky I am. While yes I am lucky that I get 7 hours of sleep every night, we didn't just get lucky with him doing this though. It took A LOT of hard work to get to this point. When he was 1 month old we were delirious with lack of sleep like any other parents to a newborn. However, we've been implementing a feed, wake, sleep schedule for him from day one and we started really repping the rewards of this hard work by 2 months. The first two months are incredibly hard. I'm not going to hide that fact, but if you put in an effort to get your baby on to a good routine it can get so much easier! I realize not all parents are fans of schedules with their babes but it is what works best for us. We are both working parents who are organized and love their sleep. Most importantly though, we feel that it is very important for Kai's cognitive development that he gets enough sleep in order to properly develop cognitively and physically. We're personally able to achieve this for him by having him on a schedule. We knew we wanted to have some schedule for our baby even before he was born. Caleb and I both read the book On Becoming Baby Wise, and discussed how much we liked it and agreed with the philosophy behind it. It was both how we were wanting to go about a feed and sleep schedule plus we both liked the idea of our baby potentially sleeping through the night by 8 to 12 weeks. Well my friends it works, it really really works. We think it’s pure magic. So today I am going to share our daily schedule with all of you as of today (12 weeks). At the end of the post I'll touch upon weeks 1-2, 3-7, and 7-10, too just in case your babe is a little younger than Kai and you're wondering what we did during those phases.
Kai's Daily Schedule
7:00 AM - Wake Kai up with lots of kisses and smiles and change his diaper
7:05 AM - Feed
7:30 AM - Pump extra milk while Kai lays in his bassinet. We typically "chat" during this time and he checks out his hands and feet.
8:00 AM - Read to Kai while he's in his baby wrap
8:30 AM - Nap time in baby wrap
9:30 AM - Feed
10:15 AM - Diaper change, get him ready for the day, swing time
11:00 AM - Nap time in crib
12:30 PM - Feed
1:15 PM - Diaper change, play mat time
2:00 PM - Nap w/ mom or in Moses basket
3:30 PM - Feed
4:15 PM - Diaper change, tummy time, walk, play w/ toys
5:00 PM - Nap time in crib
6:00 PM - Feed
6:30 PM - Diaper change, rocker or play mat time
7:30 PM - Nap time w/ mom
8:30 PM - Feed
9:00 PM - Bath (every 3rd night), diaper change, put PJs on, read a story, say our prayers, bed time in crib
11:00 PM - Pump for stimulation and supply purposes
We do this same exact routine every single day to the best of our ability. We of course go out and run errands or go visit Grandma and Grandpa, but even then we typically try to stick to this schedule. Consistency is key. Kai seems to know and understand what is coming next and it's also helpful for us as parents. We know when we can schedule appointments, when we'll have time to get stuff done around the house, or simply the best time to run errands because he's so predictable. Obviously every day isn't perfect and he can be fussy but normally he is one happy baby!
As you can see, we are on a feed, wake, sleep cycle. This is called parent directed feeding per Baby Wise. We like this kind of routine because then it doesn't get Kai dependent on food to fall asleep. A well rested baby eats well. A well fed baby sleeps well. Kai is always so happy and alert and I can say with confidence it's because he sleeps and eats so good. Because he's well rested he is able to get full feedings every time so he's happy during wake time and is able to take a full nap before it's time to eat again. If he wakes up really early from a nap we can using narrow it down to gas because since he gets full feedings it isn't because he's hungry again. After we burp him or soothe him a bit he usually will fall right to sleep and sleep all the way till his next nap time.
Here are some frequently asked questions we get asked all the time about our schedule and how we feed Kai that I wanted to address for you all!
Do you wake Kai up from his naps to eat?
Yes we do. The only time we let him go past a feed time with a nap is if we are off schedule or if he just wouldn't go down for a nap at his usual time. We usually don't let him go more than 30 minutes past a normal feed time though because if we do then that messes up the rest of the day.
Has your supply gone down with him not eating in the middle of the night?
Not that I can tell. He eats a lot at 7am and I still have to pump after he's done eating. The rest of the day he seems to always be satisfied after his feedings and when I pump I still get the normal amount of 2-3 oz per pump session.
How do you feed Kai?
I nurse Kai at 7am, 9:30 am, 12:30 pm, and 3:30 pm and Caleb bottle feeds him pumped breastmilk at 6pm and 8:30pm.
Do you supplement with formula?
Yes, if we need to. Since Kai no longer eats at 11pm I've started to get a small supply of breastmilk that we can give to him. However, if he depletes the stocked breastmilk we do give him formula if he wants it. Like I said, we feed him till he's full. So if he wants more than the breastmilk we have available by bottle, then formula it is! We give him Similac Advanced Pro formula if you're looking for a recommendation.
How do you know how much Kai is getting when he nurses? And how much do you feed him from a bottle?
We feed him until he's full. It honestly varies at every feeding every day. Sometimes it's 1.5 oz sometimes it's 8 oz. It's whatever he wants. When I nurse him, he eat's until he pulls away or just won't suck anymore. It's usually around 15 minutes per side. Sometimes it's 10, sometimes it's 20. I know that can be frustrating to hear when you're trying to figure out what to do but I promise you will learn what your baby needs! Throughout the whole day though he gets around 24 oz total.
How do you get Kai to not fall asleep on the breast?
Kai was such a sleepy baby at first when it came to breastfeeding...sometimes he still is if he didn't get a good nap in. If he keeps dosing off I try blowing in his face, running my finger lightly over his cheek, patting him on the shoulder, and tickling his feet. I also talk to him a bunch. If he doesn't respond to any of those things then that is a sure fire way that I know he is done on that side.
Do you nurse Kai on both sides?
Yes, always. He's never not done both sides. The best advice I can give on this is if your baby is going longer than 20 minutes on one side and doesn't want to do the other side, try pulling them off at 2o minutes and switch them. 20 minutes should be enough time to have emptied one side. If it keeps happening make sure you pump on the side they don't nurse on so you don't get clogged up.
Where does Kai sleep?
At night, Kai sleeps in his Dock a Tot in his crib. He also sleeps like that for is 11am nap and his 5pm nap. His other nap times I hold him or have him in his baby wrap on me. Sometimes he will nap in his Moses basket or bassinet in our room if I want to take a nap, too.
How did you get Kai to sleep through the night?
We gradually worked our way to him sleeping from 9:30pm to 7am and it's all thanks to staying on schedule. During weeks 1-2 Kai ate at these times: 7am, 9:30am, 12pm, 2:30pm, 5pm, 8pm, 11pm, 1:30am, 4am. He napped between all those times with his only wake time really being just for a diaper change or bath time. During weeks 3-7 Kai ate at these times: 7am, 9:30am, 12pm, 2:30pm, 5pm, 8pm, 11pm, 3am with naps between all those times and about 30 minutes of wake time before each nap. During weeks 7-10 Kai ate at these times: 7am, 9:30am, 12:30pm, 3:30pm, 6pm, 8:30pm, 11pm with nap times between each feeding and about 45 min of wake time before his naps. When we got to week 10 and we wanted to drop the 11pm feeding, we knew he was ready because he would barely wake up at 11pm and would only have an ounce or two of milk at that feeding. To help pad him though we moved his 8:30pm feeding to 9:30pm for 3 days then moved it back to 9:15pm for 3 days and then landed back at 8:30pm. He hasn't woken up before 6:30am since he was 8 weeks old.
Do you let Kai cry it out?
We sort of let him "cry it out." We have a 15 minute maximum. If he cries for any longer than that we go to him and attempt to soothe him. Most of the time he does fall asleep within 5-10 minutes though. We follow this same philosophy during naps, too. He tends to be a sleep crier, so he's not actually awake and he's able to resettle himself in a couple minutes to finish out his nap. The only exception to this is if he does a horrible hold his breath scream, then we go to him right away because that usually means something is wrong.
Do you wait to feed him until his scheduled feeding time if he wakes up early from his nap or do you feed him right away?
So if the 15 minutes has passed and he still hasn't stopped crying then we feed him. Hunger ALWAYS trumps the clock. If he wakes up and he's not crying or seems to be hungry we'll wait a few minutes to see if he'll go back to sleep and if he doesn't we will still feed him. We try our best not to get off the feed, wake, sleep cycle. He almost will always have a little bit to eat if we offer it to him. From that point we just try our best to get back on track with our normal schedule the rest of the day.
Do you keep Kai up till it's his scheduled nap time?
No, if he's tired before then we put him down. Those are just the latest times we allow him to stay awake before we start to put him down for a nap.
I know this was a long one but hopefully this is a good model for any of you mamas out there who are trying to get on a schedule and are looking to get some full nights of sleep. Please remember though that you need to do what is best for you and your little one. The first month is very hard. It was no where near perfect for us. We kind of just stumbled our way along and after about 4 weeks it all really started to click. The first two weeks are the hardest. You need to get a good latch down, feed almost every 2-3 hours and never go more than 4 hours, and try to get your milk to come in if you're breastfeeding. That's really hard when you're so tired and trying to heal. But it gets better before you know it! Keep at it, and just remember, you are seriously the best mom in the world! If you have any other questions about schedules, sleep, or any other mom questions in general, please leave me a comment below and I will answer the best I can!
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Hi all! Back to the grind of another week, but hopefully you all had a great weekend. We didn't really do much because the weather here was brutal this weekend! We tried to run some errands on Saturday but the wind and rain made it so hard. We ended up just staying home the whole weekend having a Star Wars marathon! Kai is starting to fit in to all his 3 month clothes and one of the things I bought for him for this age was a pair of R2D2 pajamas! I have some R2D2 PJs myself (mine are from last year but here are some similar ones), so we did some major twinning and snuggling in them this weekend and watched most of the saga.
So one thing I get asked all the time is how we can afford to travel as often as we do, and the answer always is because we budget for all of our travels! Seeing the world is our biggest hobby and in order to make that hobby happen we save our money to do it! Today I want to share with you how we budget for our big annual vacations that we take every year. We have a few simple tips that really make all the difference in allowing us to take trips of a lifetime all the time!
Pick One Big Destination a Year
We always settle on one big trip per year and then fit in smaller trips like road trips or trips to go see family and friends in to our travel schedule. Figuring out where you want to go is the first step though because that's how you're going to figure out how much it is going to cost you to go on said trip. I suggest doing this as far in advance as possible. Honestly, we pick where we want to go on our big vacations each year almost a whole year in advance.
Make a Rough Price Outline
After you pick where you want to go, it's time to start figuring out how much it'll cost you. I look up flight prices and hotel prices to the destination we have picked out. I always try to look for the average price as well as good deals and land somewhere in the middle for both flights and hotels. I add those two things up and then I add in around $1,000 in spending money if we are taking a domestic trip or $2,000 for international trips. Those amounts include everything that we would be doing except for renting a car if it's necessary. So I'm talking all food, shopping, and entertainment. If we have to pre-pay for any entertainment, then it comes out of that lump sum. Examples of these kinds of things would be sporting event tickets, theater tickets, and tours.
Input Trip Total in to Budget
Once we've figured out roughly how much it will cost us to go on our chosen vacation, we figure out when we want to go and add that rough price in to our budget. We have a nice spreadsheet budget that we use to track all of our bills that need to be paid each month. We have it extended out by a couple years for any annual bills, big expenses like Christmas or buying a new car, or for vacations, so we can see that any expenses we have this year won't severely effect us in the future. So if we want to take a trip this upcoming December, we would put the trip total in to one our December lines on our spreadsheet under additional expenses. This way we can look and see that we won't be too low in our savings or that it won't cause any issues with having enough money to pay bills around that time. It's a nice visual representation to make sure that we aren't stretching ourselves too thin by going on vacation. If it causes any issues then we go back to the drawing board of either changing the time of year we take the trip or pick a new destination that might not cost as much money. As we get closer to needing to book our vacation, we spread out the total to where we need to pay for our flight and our hotel. So with still using December as an example, we would take out the price of the flight and hotel and move it to October since that is when we would be spending that money to book the flight and hotel. Then all that is left for the vacation in December is the spending money we would need for the trip.
*If you're interested in how we set up our budget please let me know and I can do a post on it or just answer via e-mail on an individual basis. I know budgets can be intimidating!
Look for my next travel tips post about the best way to save money on travel, so you can travel for less more often! Where is your next big vacation to? We're hoping to make it down to Savannah, GA/Charleston, SC this fall! Hope you all have a great week ahead!
Last month I only finished one book but it was a really really good one! I read The Danish Way of Parenting by Jessica Joelle Alexander and Iben Dissing Sandahl and seriously loved it so much. The book covers the obvious...the way Danish parents parent their children. Danish people tend to rank the highest on the world happiness scale and there must be a reason for it. In my December book review, I mentioned that I read The Little Book of Hygge and how it helped me to learn the Danish way of Hygge. I actually found out about this book thanks to The Little Book of Hygge!
The Danes have an acronym for their parenting theory, and it is PARENT. It stands for play, authenticity, reframing, empathy, no ultimatums, and togetherness. Each chapter explains the importance of each part of PARENT and how to incorporate it in to your parenting style and children's lifestyle. A short run down of it all is it is important to just let your kids play. Nothing fancy involved. Let them truly use their imagination and interact with each other. The act of authenticity is important in encouraging your kids to be comfortable in their own skin. Being true and authentic with them goes a long way for their self esteem and learning to trust you and others around them. Reframing helps kids learn how to deal with negative situations and life's disappointments. It basically is teaching them to always look on the bright side. Teaching empathy is so important early on because it really is a learned skill. In the end we all end up with kind and caring children. The no ultimatum part is essential to prevent power struggles and hopefully keep any resentment from building up between parent and child. And lastly togetherness is hygge. It is about spending time together as a family and creating a close bond between everyone in your household.
Guys, every word of this book resonated with me. I was basically nodding and saying "yep" the entire time I was reading it. I honestly agree with every single thing this book has to say with every fiber of my being. That's how much I loved it. As I've mentioned before, I have a Bachelor of Science degree in Psychology and this book is heavily based on a child's psyche. The PARENT philosophy fosters good and happy behavior in all children. Every aspect of PARENT is so important to helping our children grow in to kind, loving, and happy people. I have made a vow to myself to parent with PARENT every day. If I catch myself deviating from it, I make a mental note and reframe myself! I know I can personally work on being more empathetic and try harder to look on the bright side of things. It all starts with me as a mom and how I can be the best model for Kai. I personally feel like by parenting Kai with PARENT, I will only become a more loving and happy person myself! Now that to me is a huge win. I actually feel like it has helped me with any baby blues I was experiencing postpartum, too. Just by thinking about how I can look at the upside of something or empathize with whoever or whatever is upsetting me, I have been able to overcome a lot of difficult emotions. As Kai gets older, I'm looking forward to really incorporating PARENT in to our lives. He is already such a happy baby, and I'm so excited that I've found the tools to hopefully keep him that way forever!
You can buy The Danish Way of Parenting on Amazon.
Make sure you add me on Goodreads so we can be book buddies! I love seeing what you all are reading these days, too. I'm still currently reading Jane Eyre...give me a break, it's a long one! But I'm really enjoying it so far!
Hey there friends! I hope you all had an awesome weekend! We definitely had a great one. Saturday morning we took Kai out to the city for his first ever brunch! We went to our favorite brunch place in Chicago, Bistrot Zinc. He was an angel the whole entire time! He woke up a few minutes after we sat down and just sat in his car seat and smiled the whole meal. We we're such proud parents! The food was delicious, as always. This time I got a seasonal special, the strawberry rhubarb clafoutis and Caleb got our favorite dish ever, which is their eggs Benedict. Yesterday we had lunch with my parents and then I spent the afternoon baking some cookies with Kai. I baked some really yummy peanut butter chocolate chip lactation cookies that both Caleb and I are just devouring now. I'll definitely be sharing the recipe on here soon because even if you aren't a breastfeeding mama they are delicious and actually "somewhat" healthy!
Today I'm sharing a little postpartum wisdom with all you new mamas, so if you aren't a mama and have no interest in the pain and messiness of postpartum don't even worry about skipping this post. Towards the end of my pregnancy I was recommended by a few friends to make these things called padsicles to help me heal after Kai was born. I looked up what was needed for them and got to work on them. I used them almost every day after Kai was born for about a month and they really really helped, so I wanted to share them with all of you! Basically what a padsicle is, is a feminine pad that you add witch hazel, essential oils, and aloe vera to and then you put them in the freezer. They act as an ice pack as well as a cooling mixture to help your lady bits heal after delivery. Here is what you need and how it helps:
Target - $9.29
You can get any pads you like. I started out with heavy duty maxi ones because I didn't know how bad I would end up being after giving birth. After I worked through my first bag and began to heal, I grabbed some less intense pads until I no longer really needed to wear them anymore.
Non-Alcoholic Witch Hazel
Target - $6.99
Non-Alcoholic witch hazel is essential. Make sure it is NON-ALCOHOLIC! Otherwise, you'll be in more pain than you can imagine down there, especially if you tore. That is why I recommend Thayer's witch hazel. It is the only non-alcoholic witch hazel brand that I could find. I ordered mine off of Amazon but I've seen it at Target, too. I got the rose petal one for a nice scent. Don't worry the scent won't cause you any irritation. The witch hazel really helps any tears to heal as well as really helps with hemorrhoids.
Lavender Essential Oil
Amazon - $15
Any lavender essential oil works. I personally got the Lily & Lush essential oil off of Amazon. The lavender essential oil is a nice calming oil that works with the other products to help calm any pain or irritation you might be having.
Tea Tree Essential Oil
Amazon - $15
Same thing goes for the tea tree essential oil, any kind works. I just ordered the same brand as the lavender for mine from Amazon. The tea tree essential oil works as a natural healer again for any tears, swelling, and hemorrhoids.
Amazon - $16.23
Just like the witch hazel, make sure the aloe vera is non-alcoholic. I wasn't able to find any non-alcoholic ones at our Target, so I resorted to Amazon again. I settled on this two pack one and it worked great. The aloe vera freezes really well and helps to numb you up down there to get rid of any burning pain you might be having.
A couple of other things you'll want to have with you before you start are gallon size freezer bags and a spoon. That's all you need to make these things. Now here's how you do it.
Step 1: Open up your feminine pad but leave the back wrapper part on.
Step 2: Squirt 3 tablespoons of the witch hazel on to the pad. I used a spoon to measure this out. The spoon comes in handy later, too. I dumped 1 tablespoon in the front, 1 in the middle, and 1 in the back.
Step 3: Add about 5 drops of each essential oil evenly over the pad. You only need about 5 drops of each since the oils are pretty strong.
Step 4: Add a decent amount of the aloe vera all over the pad and smooth it in with the spoon. Add as much of this as you want...it seriously helps so much!
Step 5: Fold the pad back up and put it in to a gallon size freezer bag. Fill the bag up and put it in the freezer and you're good to go!
Hopefully this helps any of you brand new mamas out there to find some relief and heal super fast! I'm not going to lie, they can be a bit of a shock to the system when you first put it on, so if you want to let it thaw for about 5 minutes before you put it on that might help. I remember I'd put it on and I'd dance around for a couple of minutes because it was so cold, but after it thaws a bit it always made me feel better. I had a second degree tear and was completely healed by 6 weeks. I like to think these little things helped make that happen. I also never had any bad irritation down there and stopped bleeding completely by 4 weeks. If you need any more help or support during this trying time I'm always here for you! You got this mama!
Finding products that are good but safe to use during pregnancy and while breastfeeding can be really scary and daunting. I personally really struggle with acne and use to resort to using some pretty powerful skincare products to keep it at bay. However, while you're pregnant, you're suppose to steer clear of products that have retinol in them and my doctor advised me to not use any products that carried more than 2% of salicylic acid. After realizing a lot of the products I were using contained these two things plus some other chemicals that didn't seem all that great for you, I started to hunt for great all natural products to use while I was pregnant, breastfeeding, and even after. After trying and testing a lot of products here is a run down of all my favorites that I personally felt safe using while I was pregnant.
*Please note that you should still check with your doctor to make sure these products are safe for you to use while your pregnant as all pregnancies and women are different.
Osea Blemish Balm
oseamalibu.com - $44
I use this moisturizer morning and night. I use about 3 pumps both times and it's enough to smooth over my whole face and neck. It really goes a long way and the bottle lasts awhile. It also has a nice minty smell to it that is so refreshing. In the spring, summer, and fall when my allergies are really acting up, it also helps to clear up my sinuses a little bit. A perk you never thought your face moisturizer could do!
Up & Up Makeup Remover Wipes
Target - $2.49
I like to take my makeup off right away when I get home for the evening or before I do a work out. I was using the Up & Up Grapefruit Cleansing Wipes for acne before I was pregnant, but since I wanted to cut out salicylic acid as much as possible, I switched to these wipes. They work great at getting my makeup off or just to give my face a nice wipe down if I feel a little oily or dirty.
Osea Ocean Cleansing Mudd
oseamalibu.com - $44
I use this cleanser every night in the shower or just at the sink to wash my face. I use my makeup remover wipes first and then I go in with this cleanser. I wet my face first and then use 3 pumps that I massage in to my face for about 30 seconds. This cleanser also has a minty smell just like the Blemish Balm moisturizer has. So like I said above, very refreshing and great for my allergies!
Aveeno Positively Nourishing Calming Body Wash
Target - $5.99
While I was pregnant I had a real issue with certain scents during my first trimester. Vanilla scented products really made me nauseous and strong floral scents gave me terrible headaches. I had a lot of stuff like this from Bath & Body Works prior to being pregnant and I just had to stop using them because I would really dread showering and feeling even worse coming out of it. I discovered that lavender actually helped ease my nausea, so I tried to find a body wash that was lavender scented and came upon this Aveeno body wash. It smells amazing and feels amazing. My skin is so smooth after using it, too.
Fresh Rose Deep Hydration Facial Toner
Sephora - $44
I was using this Fresh rose toner long before I got pregnant and was so relieved I could still use it during my pregnancy. It's on the pricier side but it lasts FOREVER! I was actually worried it was going to expire, that's how long I had my first bottle. Even though I have oily skin, hydrating it is still important. If you dry out your oily skin too much then it actually starts to produce extra oil. So this toner was a great way for me to help keep my skin balanced. The roses make it feel extra luxurious, too!
Korres Wild Rose Brightening Eye Treatment
Sephora - $38
Eye cream was so important for me during my skincare regimen while I was pregnant because it really helped with my dark circles. I was zapped of energy like every other pregnant woman out there and my eyes definitely showed it. However, as long as I made sure to use my eye cream I felt like I looked decently awake. This eye cream also really helps with puffiness, too.
Osea Essential Corrective Complex
oseamalibu.com - $32
Thanks to my other Osea products my acne was pretty good during my pregnancy, but if it flared up at all, I could safely use this corrective complex on any pimples. They go away within just a couple of days! It has a little roller for the applicator so it's very easy to evenly spread over any blemishes to get the whole area without having to touch it with your fingers and potentially make it worse.
Lush Mask of Magnaminty
Lush - $14.95
This mask from Lush is my favorite mask, EVER. It smells like peppermint and is so refreshing. It really helps with blemish prone skin and leaves your skin feeling so smooth afterwards. I loved putting this mask on and sitting in a warm bath to help myself relax while I was pregnant.
Aveeno Daily Moisturizing Lotion
Target - $8.99
Like I mentioned before I was very sensitive to smells while I was pregnant, so my solution to that with finding the perfect daily lotion to use was to get a scentless one! I used it every day after showering and it is so moisturizing. It definitely helped keep my skin from drying out this past winter.
Palmer's Cocoa Butter Formula Massage Lotion for Stretch Marks
Target - $5.49
I was so scared of getting horrible stretch marks on my belly and breasts, so I started using this cocoa butter as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I've gotta say, too, it did a pretty good job at keeping them at bay! They sprang up pretty bad on my belly my very last week of pregnancy but with how big Kai got towards the end I think it was inevitable. I never got any of my breasts though and it helped the lighten some that I already had on my thighs. Plus it smells like chocolate! Now that was a smell I was 100% ok with while I was pregnant ;)
Make sure you follow me on Snapchat (@dianakaravida). I always feature any new products I get or products I fall in love with in my story!
I’m Diana; curator & author of Tiny Dapper Fox. Here you’ll find posts on motherhood, home life, travel, & fashion/beauty as well as City Guides for places all around the world. Make yourself cozy and let’s be friends!
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