Hiiiii there! I know it's been quite some time since I've been on here, but I was just feeling a much needed break from the internet this summer. I've sporadically posted to Instagram and have been 100% MIA from this blog, but for good reason. I've simply just been soaking up all the time possible with Kai and it really has been incredible. We had the most amazing summer and I'm so grateful for each and every day of it. However, I miss documenting our life and connecting with all of you on here! This pregnancy has had it's ups and downs, for sure, but I still am determined to document it because it's still all just so wonderful. I had all these posts planned out and just never got to them. But that's ok...you all are just going to have to bare with me through the next couple weeks of bump dates while I catch up! I did these with my pregnancy with Kai and they are something I still love to look back on. So let's rewind all the way back to May today...
HOW WE FOUND OUT ABOUT BABY #2
We found out back at the end of March...March 28th to be exact, that we were welcoming another baby in to our family! Back in the middle of March, I had officially stopped nursing Kai, so my periods were still all over the place. Per my Flo app though, I was a week late. The following day I was going to be heading to Nashville for a bachelorette party, so I figured the responsible thing to do was the take a pregnancy test, just to be sure it was ok for me to drink that weekend. I was about 50/50 on thinking I was pregnant. I'd taken some pregnancy tests on and off during Kai's first year due to late periods, but like I said, they were late thanks to breastfeeding. So I was kind of expecting it to be negative. On the flip side though, that week I had started having some really weird dreams. I never remember my dreams, but when I was pregnant with Kai, I remembered so many them. And they were all so strange! So because of that, I was a little dubious. Caleb, Kai, and I were laying in bed and it was dinner time. So Caleb got up and took Kai down to make dinner, and I told them I'd be right down because I was going to take a pregnancy test real quick. So I did the thing, waited the 3 minutes and went to check. I was honestly shocked...it was POSITIVE! I just silently walked downstairs with the stick still in my hand. Caleb looked at me with it and said, "wait, are you serious?!" He picked me up and kissed me a hundred times and was so excited. We told Kai he was going to be a big brother...not sure how he felt about it at the time per the photo above, ha! (Just kidding...that was taken at bedtime awhile after, so naturally he didn't want to do a photo session). We were so elated and surprised and went to bed that night on total cloud 9.
THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE UGLY
I had a wonderful time in Nashville after finding out I was pregnant...no seriously, I did. It was my last good weekend for awhile! The day after I got back from my trip, the nausea set it. I had entered the 6th week at that point, and wow it hit me hard. My entire first trimester I was nauseous and threw up in the mornings. The thing that always triggered me getting sick was brushing my teeth.
I had such low energy but I refused to take time away from Kai. I was also offered my new job the week after I found out I was pregnant, and started only a week after that. My stress and anxiety were through the roof. Before I got pregnant, I had decided to wean off my antidepressants since I was stopping our breastfeeding journey. I had been feeling great for awhile, so I decided it was time to get off of them. When finding out I was pregnant, I made the decision to continue to wean off of it. However, there were many moments of doubt in this decision thanks to all the anxiety and emotions that set in throughout my first trimester. I was a complete mess. I was never this emotional during my pregnancy with Kai and it honestly scared me. I almost went back on the medication but decided to try to ride it out and see what the 2nd trimester would bring. I would be so happy we were having another baby for days and then all of a sudden I would get sad and worried. I remember thinking, "how can I love another human as much as I love Kai?" I can't verbally explain the amount of love I have for Kai so to love another person that much was just unfathomable to me. I also felt like there was thinking ticking clock now of it just being Kai in our life. Like time was running out with him. Then there were, sad to say, the resentment thoughts. I was really hoping to have my body back to myself for awhile after breastfeeding Kai for 14 months. Then of course I would get upset with myself for feeling that way. So as you can see, I was just all over the place. Looking at all of it, it's completely normal, but that's never something you want to accept and be ok with no matter how normal it is. However, deep down I wanted this baby so bad and it made my heart so full to know we would be having two tiny humans in our life now.
The toughest part of my first trimester though, and I think the biggest contributing factor to all the hard stuff was after my confirmation appointment, we found out my progesterone was low. It was just barely low, but still not where it should be to sustain the pregnancy on its own. So I had to start taking progesterone pills on a nightly basis. This scared me to no end. While I was so sick, tired, and sad, the thought of losing our baby shattered my heart any time I thought about it. I would endure those days ten fold to keep this little one safe and sound inside of me. We saw the perfect little heartbeat on our first ultrasound at 7 weeks and I would do anything in the world to keep that heart going.
In total, I lost 8 lbs my first trimester but started showing around 9 weeks. It was probably mostly just bloat but I could tell a huge different in my belly growth this time around compared to my first pregnancy. I popped way sooner this time around. All in all, it was a rough first trimester but we made it out with a safe and healthy baby! No more progesterone after week 12 and things slowly started to turn around.
HOW WE TOLD OUR FAMILY + FRIENDS
We told our parents the night we found out that we were having Peanut...that's this baby's nickname. This is typically something I would prefer to do in person, but I wouldn't be seeing my mom that weekend due to my trip to Nashville. So we had to resort to the next best thing...FaceTime. We called her and told her that Kai was going to be a big brother followed by Caleb's mom and dad. Caleb and I have never been big grandiose announcement people and we're honestly too excited to wait and put something huge together. We prefer in the moment happiness and excitement, so telling our parents right away was just perfect for us. We told the rest of our family the big news at Easter, so right around the 9 week mark. We slowly started to tell our close friends all throughout my first trimester and the love and support we received was incredible.
I think that about sums it up...throwing up, crying, and sleeping were my first trimester in a nutshell...pretty textbook, huh? Oh and my show of choice this time around was Parks and Rec...I think I made it through the series twice during that time, ha!
We're so excited to announce that baby #2 will be joining our little family this November! I am about 16 weeks along and due just before Thanksgiving. We found about our newest addition back at the end of March and are so excited to grow our family. Kai is going to be the best big brother and we can already tell that he's excited. We've nicknamed this little one, Peanut!
I'm so excited to back track and share all about my first trimester with all of you as well as take you along on the journey through this pregnancy and becoming a family of 5. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for all the love and support you continue to give our family!
Happy almost Thanksgiving, everyone! What is everyone doing for the holiday tomorrow? We're hosting at our house again and going all out as usual! I'm in major prep mode today with cleaning our house like a mad woman and Caleb is prepping all the food to make tomorrow run nice and smooth. If you need any Thanksgiving hosting help, check out my post on Thanksgiving from last year!
Today I want to share with you my baby registry must haves. As a mom to an almost 10 month old, I feel like I finally know and understand what all is needed for a baby throughout their first year of life. However, I do remember last year when we were doing our baby registry how overwhelmed we were. So I'm going to finally share with you the best things to register for along with the exact item + number of items I recommend! Alright...here we go...
Add toys, cute clothes, books, and gift cards as fillers. To be honest, people are going to buy what they think is cute in terms of those things, so don't stress too much about being short handed on those things. Plus I think it's way more fun to go shopping for that stuff yourself anyways! Half the fun of having a baby is dressing them and getting all excited about buying them toys and books!
Did I miss anything important on this list, fellow mamas!? Leave me a comment below and let me know!
Oh friends, this post has taken me a long time to write. I've sat down to try to write it multiple times and always stop for some reason or another. Sometimes it feels like a rant, sometimes I just can't convey how I really feel. Regardless though, it's something I've wanted to discuss with all of you for a long time now. Before I start though I want to say one thing, in no way shape or form will any negativity, shaming, or pure meanness be tolerated in this discussion. All comments must be approved before they are published on this blog. So if you have nothing nice to say then please don't even bother. Same goes for all social media and e-mail. You will promptly be removed from this discussion and any future Tiny Talks. Thank you!
Mom shaming is a real thing. It's awful and truly sad that it happens. Before I became a mom, I know I would judge. Heck from time to time I still do, but since becoming a mom I will never ever vocalize it because I know how much it hurts. As a mom, we're all just doing our best but many times it's not seen that way. It saddens me when someone tells a mom that they're not doing it right because they may do things differently than someone else. This is the number one factor of where I see mom shaming come in to play. We all have different styles of raising our babies and to me that's the awesome thing about parenthood. I 100% understand about being passionate about something, for me, those things tend to be baby wearing, breastfeeding, Babywise, and vaccinations. If you want my personal views on these topics then let's chat on the side, but I mention them because I fully appreciate the differences of opinions surrounding these topics. Just because some mamas are on the complete opposite end of the spectrum of where I am on these things doesn't mean they're bad moms in my opinion. I know for a fact they believe what they believe and do what they do out of the goodness of their hearts for their children, and for that I applaud them. I wish so many others felt the same though. Why is it that we feel the need to be mean and degrade each other for a difference of opinion?
The hardest part about mom shaming is that it sticks with you, at least it does with me. I have very distinct memories of other women making me feel incredibly inferior for things such as Babywise and breastfeeding. It was to the point one time where I actually questioned if I was a good mom? I'm sure some of you have been to that point, too in your motherhood journey. Isn't it the absolute worst feeling? You go from sad to mad. I've gotten so heated over these shaming incidents, it's crazy how much time and energy is wasted on it. The worst part about it too is that it's so hard to just shake it off. I define myself as a mom and to be basically told I'm bad at it just shakes me to my core. But in the end, who cares what that person thinks, right? We just have to look at our babies to see the proof of how amazing we are at this motherhood thing.
So the next time you run in to an incident that breaks your heart, go snuggle your heart on the outside and remember you're the perfect mom. I am so proud to be a part of this tribe and thank you all so much for being a part of it with me. Every single one of you are the best mom ever and don't ever let anyone else tell you otherwise.
Let's all band together here and help bring awareness and stop the shame! A few things I personally like to do on the daily to bring positivity to this mama tribe is:
Join in on this weeks Tiny Talk on Instagram Live tomorrow night (11/6) at 7PM CST! I can't wait to chat more about this with all of you tomorrow night!
Childbirth is messy, really really messy but at the same time it is the most beautiful experience of your life. I've had so many women tell me how scared they are of labor and delivery and my response is always to remember that it is just one day. Yes it's hard and painful, but it's a good pain. There's a point to it and it's not hurting you. The pain of the contractions are a wonderful thing because with each one you are closer to meeting your baby. There's a lot of intense things that happen before, during, and after labor that so many women just keep to themselves or say to other moms "you know what I mean." While this may not be appropriate dinner table talk, I want you to know it's ok to talk about it. It's ok to say out loud, I tore, I have hemorrhoids, I was a gusher.. I'm always here to be honest with you guys, so here it is, all of that happened to me. I personally wish that I had found other blog posts that were brutally honest about childbirth before I gave birth to Kai. I'm not here to scare you but it does happen but you know what else? You heal! You really really do. The human body is extraordinary, especially women's bodies! Sorry guys, but it's true. Women are far superior in every way. I read a hilarious quote at the very beginning of my pregnancy and it was, "There's a reason God decided women would give birth and not men." We're so strong, stronger than you can ever imagine yourself and I promise you can do it. We are meant to do this and it's all so wonderful.
Belly Itching + Stretch Marks
My bump was itching so bad the last couple weeks of my pregnancy. I remember being so miserable and nothing would help. Our skin gets stretched so far to make room for these little nuggets that it's just bound to happen. I got some pretty gnarly stretch marks at the very end but I've been using the Honest Company Belly Balm and it has worked wonders to lighten them up. You can't even see them anymore! The itching goes away too about a week after giving birth. I still had a little bit of it right after but that's because your skin is snapping back to normal. Seriously, our bodies are amazing.
Losing the Plug
If you're pregnant and getting close to the end, there's going to be a lot of talk about losing your mucus plug. It's gross yes, but it happens when you go to the bathroom. I lost mine all at once when my water broke. You flush it down the toilet and that's that. I've heard that some women can lose it early and some can lose it a little bit here and there. Whatever it may be, you just wash it away and know that pretty soon it's going to be baby time! See? Always a positive outcome even with the gross stuff.
Only about 10% of women's water break before labor starts. I am proud to say I am in that 10%! I was terrified that this would happen to me at work and that I would be a gusher. Well I was a gusher but thankfully it happened in the comfort of my own home. I definitely would have been embarrassed if I was out in public and especially if it was somewhere like work where I would have to see these people again! However, if it does happen, who cares, especially if you're just out and about! You'll never see those people again and you have much more to think about than what people think of you wetting your pants ha! To ease your comfort though, most women really do start to have contractions first and a lot of times your doctor or midwife will have to break your water for you. So either way, know you are not alone. It also may be a slow trickle or you might just start gushing water like I did. For me the beginning sensation started while I was laying in bed. It woke me up in the morning actually. I felt this purging sensation down in my vagina and thought "hm, that feels weird" and got up to go to the bathroom. Then whoosh it all started coming out. Whatever it may be, just carry a towel around with you until you get in to your hospital bed if it breaks before you get to the hospital. Just remember that once in breaks, you're guaranteed to meet your babe in the next 24 hours!
Pain of Contractions
At first, they really don't hurt. They're just weird. Before I went in to labor I remember scouring the internet for what they feel like because I just needed to know and I could never find anything that truly described them. So here it is. For me, they were a strong tightening of my lower abdomen and I felt a lot of pressure pushing down in to my vagina. That's it. None of this intense sharp cramping that you picture or anything like that. The most uncomfortable part and I imagine painful part is that the pressure gets more and more as you dilate. I opted to receive an epidural when I was 5 cm dilated and that is when the pressure was becoming very uncomfortable. After I got the epidural though, they didn't hurt at all!
I had a second degree tear with Kai. I tore externally and internally and had to receive stitches. Thanks to the epidural though I didn't feel the tearing happening or the stitching happening. I heard it though. It was a series of pops and all I could think was yep there it goes...but hey then my baby was born! They put your little bundle on your chest and your doctor takes care of you and you seriously don't even notice. Afterwards, you're sore but I imagine all women are even if you don't tear! You just gave birth to a human after all. Just use the ice packs the hospital gives you and when you get home start using the padsicles you prepared. Here's the recipe for the ones I made. They seriously do wonders and I healed so quickly thanks to them! Also use the peribottle that the hospital gives you after every bathroom visit to keep yourself clean down there. The stitches just dissolve in your body so nothing falls out or anything crazy like that. At your 6 week postpartum appointment with your doctor or midwife, they will check it and make sure you are all good and I promise you will be. Just rest, take ibuprofen, and ice when you can!
Peeing Your Pants
So I haven't ever really experienced this but it definitely does happen to a lot of women so if you're in this bucket, you're seriously not alone! I had a friend tell me one day during her pregnancy she had pee running down her leg and we just laughed about it because who cares, it happens to the best of us! Just wear a pad around if you feel your pelvic floor weakening. Do some kegels when you can it'll get stronger over time. There's so much weight baring down and then during delivery your pushing so hard, your bound to mess it up. But just like everything else, it really does get better over time. I still wear a pad when I workout just in case. No shame mamas!
Pooping on the Table
I have no idea if this happened to me. It might have? I don't know and you know why? Because for 1 you can't see, 2 you can't feel it, and 3 the nurses just clean it up for you or it just drops right in to the bag at the end of the table. Trust me, a lot is coming out of you other than stools so seriously don't concern yourself with any of it. Just concentrate on your pushing your babe out...that's all that matters!
The First Postpartum Bowel Movement + Hemorrhoids
Ok sorry ladies but this one hurts. Like a fricken mother f*****. I'm not trying to scare anyone but oh my goodness this is probably the only thing I'm dreading with future babies. But like I've been stressing over and over again it all gets better over time. To help with all of this do sitz baths with either the contraption they give you at the hospital or just sit in your bath tub. I opted for the bath tub because I had a very bruised tailbone after giving birth. I would fill it with a little bit of water and a few drops of tea tree oil and just sit for about 10 to 15 min. It was a nice break and time to myself actually. Also use baby wipes (I'm sure you have plenty) to wipe yourself after going as toilet paper can be a little rough and really irritate hemorrhoids. Preparation H, those padiscles, and stool softeners will help them heal, too. This was honestly the most uncomfortable part for me and I definitely got frustrated that this part of postpartum took so long to go away and I actually still struggle with this now 5 months postpartum but you just learn to deal. Some days it hurts still but most days it doesn't. Once again...time is your best friend with all this healing.
Post delivery will feel like a very heavy period. You'll need to wear a pad 24/7 and yes I really do recommend just wearing the granny panty mesh underwear from the hospital for the first 2 weeks. I felt like I was wearing a diaper most of the time but it was better than ruining clothes, sheets, or the couch. The bleeding gets better each week and mine was completely gone by 4 weeks.
I didn't get this one too bad either, thank goodness but I know it does happen. At the hospital I was told at the beginning to wipe my nipples with a warm cloth after each feeding and let them air dry. Then apply some nipple cream. I started out using the Lansinoh nipple cream and it did help but it stained my clothes! So be careful ladies, it's like grease so if you wash and dry your clothes you'll never get those stains out. I switched to using the Honest Nipple Balm and it's been amazing. You don't really need it after about week 2 but every once in awhile I'll apply a little because they can get sore from pumping.
Baby Blues, Postpartum Depression, + Postpartum Psychosis
So of all the things us mamas experience after birth, this topic is definitely one of the most serious and important ones. Our emotional and mental health is so important and it is extremely rocked after giving birth...hell it's even messed with during pregnancy...hello crazy pregnancy hormones! It is completely normal to experience baby blues after giving birth. Some moms feel it right away and it sets in later for others. Our hormones are going haywire to get back to normal or to stabilize for breastfeeding. However, if it's been months and you still can't stop crying, have severe anxiety, or if it's more on the extreme side where you are hallucinating, have thoughts of harming yourself or others, and aren't able to complete any of your normal daily tasks then I encourage you with my whole heart to call your doctor. There is no shame in any of this. It happens to all of us, myself included. After I went back to work I found it very hard to cope with my feelings, I struggled to be productive, and my anxiety was through the roof. I couldn't deal with small things or big things and thanks to my sister in law and one of my best friends I went to my doctor. I am proud to say I am doing so much better these days and I'm able to go through life now with a much clearer head. The thing is, it's not our fault that we feel this way. Thanks to all that we went through and are still going through our bodies just can't regulate its hormones without some help. It's all a part of motherhood and if you need the help of talking to someone or medication then please seek it out, it will help you to kick ass at life even more.
That about covers it. If I've forgotten anything or if you mamas have any other questions or advice for me and other moms please leave me a comment below! Hooray for the mess of being moms! It's a beautiful thing ;)
I’m Diana; curator & author of Tiny Dapper Fox. Here you’ll find posts on motherhood, home life, travel, & fashion/beauty as well as City Guides for places all around the world. Make yourself cozy and let’s be friends!
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