Being Present

*photo courtesy of Brandie Scales

Welcome to our first official Tiny Talk! I hope you all are having a great weekend. I've been cherishing this long Labor Day weekend as best as I can and really focusing on this weeks Tiny Talks topic for myself, which is being present. Being present is an art, in my opinion. It can be really hard. When the going gets tough I know I personally just want to "run away" via social media, deep cleaning our house, or sometimes just staring off blankly in to space. While all these things can sometimes be good or fun or inspiring when I do them to escape something or get too excessive with it they are severe time suckers. Ever since I became a mom I value my time so much more. It's so important to me that I give Kai my full attention the entire time he is awake and it's just as important that I take time for myself, my hubby, and our home while he's sleeping or playing independently. It's taken me a long time and a lot of hard work (I know that sounds silly but it's so true) to get to a place where I am proud of with being present and today I want to share this wisdom with you + find out how you all stay present with yourself and your families!

1. Cut off Phone Usage

Ha yeah you probably all guessed this would be number 1! Wasting time on our phones is seriously the biggest time sucker of all. There are nights where I tell myself I am going to check Instagram 1 more time and then shower and go to sleep but then it's somehow 1 am and I still haven't showered and am clearly not sleeping. There is just something so wrong with that! While I really love social media, taking photos, and texting our family and friends I truly believe there is a time and place for it. I've really started limiting myself with my phone to these times:

• Pinterest for 5 min when I first wake up
• Browse social media during my post-nursing pump session while Kai is playing in his pack and play
• Answer texts while Kai naps or during work breaks
• Post to Instagram when I get off of work
• Quick final check of social media notifications (no browsing) before showering at night

That's it. This is why my Instagram Stories are so few and far between these days and honestly I love it. I do not care if not being active enough hurts my "popularity" on Instagram (more on this next week) or if I'll never "make it big." That's not the point of this little space anyways. It is far more important to me to give my family my full attention and not have my phone/camera in their faces all the time. I actually do get comments all the time like you don't take enough pictures or you should video Kai doing that and my response is always, "I like to be present for these moments and see it first hand, not through a screen." So while I do have a good amount of photos and videos of our baby's special moments, I also have amazing memories of actually being a part of them, which matter to me so much more.

I also minimally use my phone on Sundays. It is my one day to completely shut down and spend with my family. With the exception of Tiny Talks, I do not go on social media at all and only answer texts/calls when Kai is napping or it's important. I honestly just love leaving my phone in our bedroom or in my purse these days. I have an Apple Watch, so I am still very much able to know when someone needs to reach me, but I am far less tempted to waste my life away on my phone this way.

2. Create a Good Schedule for Yourself

I know schedules and routines can be so mundane but they help me so much. I know what to expect and when I can expect it. I have daily schedules and to do lists all written out in my phone and when the clock strikes whatever time, I aim to do what I have written down on my schedule. This really helps me to maximize my time and get things done but at the same time switch off when it's time to be with Kai, Caleb, and Wrigley. My best example is we put Kai down to sleep between 8:30 and 9pm then from 9 to 9:30pm I tidy up the house, do laundry, and do dishes. As soon as the clock strikes 9:30pm though I stop, do my quick little social media check, kill all my apps, and hop in the shower so that by 10pm I can either have some personal time or time with Caleb.

3. Go With the Flow

Ok so you might be thinking how can you do this one + number 2? Well I mean "go with the flow" in 2 different ways actually. 1 being that sometimes schedules and to do lists just don't happen. You can't let this get to you though. And then 2, you need to just let the day be how it's going to be. What I mean by this is if your baby is crying nonstop and your toddler is throwing a fit that is exactly what is supposed to be happening that day. We can't always expect everything to be perfect and we need to acknowledge these times for what they are. That life is going exactly as it should. The best we can do is react to it with grace and gratitude that we have the lives we have and make the most of it. Remember everything is temporary and just go with it.

4. Make Traditions

I know for us starting traditions as a family has really made a difference with being fully present with each other. You can just tell when a moment is special and a lot of times it's something you want to come back to over and over again. Traditions don't have to be anything big...they can be ordering pizza and watching Disney movies on Friday nights or going to the Farmer's Market every week like Kai and I do. During these times though I encourage you to just take it all in. Every second of how you feel, your surroundings, and the people you're with. Traditions make amazing memories.

5. Acknowledge ALL Feelings

Circling back to running away when the going gets tough...do not do that. Being sad and hurt is a part of life and those feelings need to be acknowledged. It is so important that we learn how to cope with heart break and stress. I can honestly say when we deal with the tough times, they resolve quicker. Face things head on and allow yourself to feel the sadness. It really is ok to be sad and cry. Don't hold back and don't hide from it. You are stronger than you'll ever know.

On the flip side, truly feel and relish in your own happiness. Be proud of yourself. Think about why you're so happy and so proud and hold on to that so the next time you're sad you can acknowledge the sadness but then turn to the reasons why you should be happy and proud of yourself. There is always a bright side to everything.

How do you work on being present in your life? I would love to know! Please join me for my Instagram Live at 1 PM CST (sorry different time today!) as well as in the conversation around being present in the Tiny Tribe on Facebook. Or just simply leave me a comment below! I can't wait to discuss being present further with all of you!