Childbirth is messy, really really messy but at the same time it is the most beautiful experience of your life. I've had so many women tell me how scared they are of labor and delivery and my response is always to remember that it is just one day. Yes it's hard and painful, but it's a good pain. There's a point to it and it's not hurting you. The pain of the contractions are a wonderful thing because with each one you are closer to meeting your baby. There's a lot of intense things that happen before, during, and after labor that so many women just keep to themselves or say to other moms "you know what I mean." While this may not be appropriate dinner table talk, I want you to know it's ok to talk about it. It's ok to say out loud, I tore, I have hemorrhoids, I was a gusher.. I'm always here to be honest with you guys, so here it is, all of that happened to me. I personally wish that I had found other blog posts that were brutally honest about childbirth before I gave birth to Kai. I'm not here to scare you but it does happen but you know what else? You heal! You really really do. The human body is extraordinary, especially women's bodies! Sorry guys, but it's true. Women are far superior in every way. I read a hilarious quote at the very beginning of my pregnancy and it was, "There's a reason God decided women would give birth and not men." We're so strong, stronger than you can ever imagine yourself and I promise you can do it. We are meant to do this and it's all so wonderful.

My bump was itching so bad the last couple weeks of my pregnancy. I remember being so miserable and nothing would help. Our skin gets stretched so far to make room for these little nuggets that it's just bound to happen. I got some pretty gnarly stretch marks at the very end but I've been using the Honest Company Belly Balm and it has worked wonders to lighten them up. You can't even see them anymore! The itching goes away too about a week after giving birth. I still had a little bit of it right after but that's because your skin is snapping back to normal. Seriously, our bodies are amazing.

If you're pregnant and getting close to the end, there's going to be a lot of talk about losing your mucus plug. It's gross yes, but it happens when you go to the bathroom. I lost mine all at once when my water broke. You flush it down the toilet and that's that. I've heard that some women can lose it early and some can lose it a little bit here and there. Whatever it may be, you just wash it away and know that pretty soon it's going to be baby time! See? Always a positive outcome even with the gross stuff.

Only about 10% of women's water break before labor starts. I am proud to say I am in that 10%! I was terrified that this would happen to me at work and that I would be a gusher. Well I was a gusher but thankfully it happened in the comfort of my own home. I definitely would have been embarrassed if I was out in public and especially if it was somewhere like work where I would have to see these people again! However, if it does happen, who cares, especially if you're just out and about! You'll never see those people again and you have much more to think about than what people think of you wetting your pants ha! To ease your comfort though, most women really do start to have contractions first and a lot of times your doctor or midwife will have to break your water for you. So either way, know you are not alone. It also may be a slow trickle or you might just start gushing water like I did. For me the beginning sensation started while I was laying in bed. It woke me up in the morning actually. I felt this purging sensation down in my vagina and thought "hm, that feels weird" and got up to go to the bathroom. Then whoosh it all started coming out. Whatever it may be, just carry a towel around with you until you get in to your hospital bed if it breaks before you get to the hospital. Just remember that once in breaks, you're guaranteed to meet your babe in the next 24 hours!

At first, they really don't hurt. They're just weird. Before I went in to labor I remember scouring the internet for what they feel like because I just needed to know and I could never find anything that truly described them. So here it is. For me, they were a strong tightening of my lower abdomen and I felt a lot of pressure pushing down in to my vagina. That's it. None of this intense sharp cramping that you picture or anything like that. The most uncomfortable part and I imagine painful part is that the pressure gets more and more as you dilate. I opted to receive an epidural when I was 5 cm dilated and that is when the pressure was becoming very uncomfortable. After I got the epidural though, they didn't hurt at all!

I had a second degree tear with Kai. I tore externally and internally and had to receive stitches. Thanks to the epidural though I didn't feel the tearing happening or the stitching happening. I heard it though. It was a series of pops and all I could think was yep there it goes...but hey then my baby was born! They put your little bundle on your chest and your doctor takes care of you and you seriously don't even notice. Afterwards, you're sore but I imagine all women are even if you don't tear! You just gave birth to a human after all. Just use the ice packs the hospital gives you and when you get home start using the padsicles you prepared. Here's the recipe for the ones I made. They seriously do wonders and I healed so quickly thanks to them! Also use the peribottle that the hospital gives you after every bathroom visit to keep yourself clean down there. The stitches just dissolve in your body so nothing falls out or anything crazy like that. At your 6 week postpartum appointment with your doctor or midwife, they will check it and make sure you are all good and I promise you will be. Just rest, take ibuprofen, and ice when you can!

So I haven't ever really experienced this but it definitely does happen to a lot of women so if you're in this bucket, you're seriously not alone! I had a friend tell me one day during her pregnancy she had pee running down her leg and we just laughed about it because who cares, it happens to the best of us! Just wear a pad around if you feel your pelvic floor weakening. Do some kegels when you can it'll get stronger over time. There's so much weight baring down and then during delivery your pushing so hard, your bound to mess it up. But just like everything else, it really does get better over time. I still wear a pad when I workout just in case. No shame mamas!

I have no idea if this happened to me. It might have? I don't know and you know why? Because for 1 you can't see, 2 you can't feel it, and 3 the nurses just clean it up for you or it just drops right in to the bag at the end of the table. Trust me, a lot is coming out of you other than stools so seriously don't concern yourself with any of it. Just concentrate on your pushing your babe out...that's all that matters!

Ok sorry ladies but this one hurts. Like a fricken mother f*****. I'm not trying to scare anyone but oh my goodness this is probably the only thing I'm dreading with future babies. But like I've been stressing over and over again it all gets better over time. To help with all of this do sitz baths with either the contraption they give you at the hospital or just sit in your bath tub. I opted for the bath tub because I had a very bruised tailbone after giving birth. I would fill it with a little bit of water and a few drops of tea tree oil and just sit for about 10 to 15 min. It was a nice break and time to myself actually. Also use baby wipes (I'm sure you have plenty) to wipe yourself after going as toilet paper can be a little rough and really irritate hemorrhoids. Preparation H, those padiscles, and stool softeners will help them heal, too. This was honestly the most uncomfortable part for me and I definitely got frustrated that this part of postpartum took so long to go away and I actually still struggle with this now 5 months postpartum but you just learn to deal. Some days it hurts still but most days it doesn't. Once again...time is your best friend with all this healing.

Post delivery will feel like a very heavy period. You'll need to wear a pad 24/7 and yes I really do recommend just wearing the granny panty mesh underwear from the hospital for the first 2 weeks. I felt like I was wearing a diaper most of the time but it was better than ruining clothes, sheets, or the couch. The bleeding gets better each week and mine was completely gone by 4 weeks.

I didn't get this one too bad either, thank goodness but I know it does happen. At the hospital I was told at the beginning to wipe my nipples with a warm cloth after each feeding and let them air dry. Then apply some nipple cream. I started out using the Lansinoh nipple cream and it did help but it stained my clothes! So be careful ladies, it's like grease so if you wash and dry your clothes you'll never get those stains out. I switched to using the Honest Nipple Balm and it's been amazing. You don't really need it after about week 2 but every once in awhile I'll apply a little because they can get sore from pumping.

So of all the things us mamas experience after birth, this topic is definitely one of the most serious and important ones. Our emotional and mental health is so important and it is extremely rocked after giving birth...hell it's even messed with during pregnancy...hello crazy pregnancy hormones! It is completely normal to experience baby blues after giving birth. Some moms feel it right away and it sets in later for others. Our hormones are going haywire to get back to normal or to stabilize for breastfeeding. However, if it's been months and you still can't stop crying, have severe anxiety, or if it's more on the extreme side where you are hallucinating, have thoughts of harming yourself or others, and aren't able to complete any of your normal daily tasks then I encourage you with my whole heart to call your doctor. There is no shame in any of this. It happens to all of us, myself included. After I went back to work I found it very hard to cope with my feelings, I struggled to be productive, and my anxiety was through the roof. I couldn't deal with small things or big things and thanks to my sister in law and one of my best friends I went to my doctor. I am proud to say I am doing so much better these days and I'm able to go through life now with a much clearer head. The thing is, it's not our fault that we feel this way. Thanks to all that we went through and are still going through our bodies just can't regulate its hormones without some help. It's all a part of motherhood and if you need the help of talking to someone or medication then please seek it out, it will help you to kick ass at life even more.

​That about covers it. If I've forgotten anything or if you mamas have any other questions or advice for me and other moms please leave me a comment below! Hooray for the mess of being moms! It's a beautiful thing ;)

Location: Toledo, OH, USA

Happy 4th of July friends! I hope you're celebrating our beautiful country with wonderful friends and family with all the fireworks and BBQs today! We're planning on spending a relaxing day with our family and BBQing later tonight for dinner. Kai Bear goes to bed before all the fireworks start so those will have to wait for next year. Always something to look forward to though!

At the beginning of last month, we took our first road trip with Kai and it was for our family reunion that was in Toledo, OH. Toledo is where my dad grew up and the last two years we've been having family reunions with our entire Karavida side of the family. They have been so much fun reuniting with our family and meeting new family members each year! Our family is so big and spread out all over the country that there are actually members that I've never met before so it has been so wonderful to bring everyone together to create bonds with these family members as well as make new memories with all my amazing cousins.

We drove out on a Friday afternoon. Kai did fairly well in the car for it being his first road trip. It got a little sick of the drive around the half way mark but who can blame him!? Five hours in a car seat would be annoying for anyone but it was nothing a little bit of me crawling in to the back seat and entertaining him for awhile couldn't fix. Once we finally arrived in Toledo and got all checked in to our hotel (we stayed at the Radisson at the University of Toledo and we highly recommend it!), we headed out to dinner with some of our family at my favorite spot in all of Toledo, Shorty's True American Roadhouse. This place is so good you guys. We have to eat there every time we visit. They have the most yummy corn bread you can possibly imagine. We discovered that they use cake batter to make it, so no wonder it's so delicious!

The next day was reunion day! The shindig didn't start until the afternoon and now that we're early risers thanks to Kai, we got up early and made our way to downtown Toledo to spend some time just the 3 of us that morning. We drove around and got some Starbucks then hit up the Toledo Farmer's Market in search of some breakfast. While we didn't find any pastry stands we did find the coolest food truck called Big C's BBQ. Caleb got a pulled pork parfait that had pork, mashed potatoes, and gravy in it and I got BBQ nachos. All of it was SO GOOD! We walked around the market for a little bit too and I got some amazing soy candles from Heaven's Gate Soy Candles as well as some all natural bug repellent to use on Kai and even Wrigley!

After our morning downtown, we headed over to my aunt and uncle's house for the reunion. We just enjoyed spending time catching up with family and reminiscing about great times in the past. I truly cherish these events and hope they stay an annual thing! I'm so glad Kai's first little trip was spent with family and full of so much love.

What was your first family trip you took with your little one(s)? I'd love to know! Leave me a comment and tell me your story! Hope you all have a great 4th!

Happy Summer everyone! I'm only a week late with this post but we've had a lot going on this last week with some family stuff and I haven't been feeling too hot thanks to another clogged milk duct. Thankfully I got it cleared out though and am on the mend!

These last 5 months of have seriously just flown by.. I've really be reflecting how wonderful life has gotten with having Kai in it. He turned 5 months old last Sunday and it's actually been hard for me to grasp that he's this "old" already. Lately I've been really nostalgic for my pregnancy and those newborn days as I watch him grow and become a little bit more independent each day. But at the same time I'm so excited for each new thing we get to see him do or do with him. Motherhood is so complex but I love all of it so much.

Weight: 16.8 lbs
Height: 25 in

Month four was incredible. You are so happy, active, and a total mama's boy. You're going through a major phase where you want me and only me, and I don't mind one bit. You are starting to love to play on your own more and more so I'm cherishing the times you cling to me so much these days. You've started rolling over and scooting yourself around in circles on your play mats so you can play with all your toys. You're really loving Elmo these days and laugh whenever you watch him on TV. My favorite thing you've started doing though is you grab my face and give me kisses! They are the most slobbery wonderful little kisses I've ever gotten. We bought you a jumper, too and that is probably your favorite thing in the world right now. You can stay and jump in that thing for hours and then when you get tired you just lean back and chill in it. It makes me smile so big.

We went on some more adventures this last month, too! You took your first road trip and it was out to Toledo, OH for our family reunion. You met a bunch of your cousins and got to spend time with your great aunt and uncle again. You did get sick of being in the car for awhile though but I don't blame you, I get sick of being in the car too long, too. It's something you'll have to get use to though little one because we're going to be world travelers with you ;)! Your Auntie Em also came to visit and meet you a couple weeks ago, too. She spent a few days with us and we showed her all around Chicago, We took her to brunch, shopping, and lunch at Cindy's Rooftop. You were mesmerized by the view out on the balcony at Cindy's! You were of course so well behaved. You make me so proud to be your mama! We also took you to the carnival at Liberty Days, which is the annual festival that is held in our little town of Libertyville. We got corn dogs and cotton candy and you were so fascinated by all the fun lights on the rides. Maybe next year we can take you on a couple! We celebrated Father's Day this last month, too! It was Dad's first one and we celebrated with brunch at Bistrot Zinc and a day at the Museum of Science and Industry. We went to see the Pixar exhibit that is currently there and you slept through the whole thing, ha! You did enjoy the wind vortex and the wave simulator that we showed you at the beginning though. 

You my little one are so ready for solid food. You stare so intently at us whenever we're eating and drinking something. Just one more month little guy and you can try it all! You've upped your milk intake a little bit though to about 32 oz a day. You've started waking up a little early these last couple weeks, too, but you put yourself back to sleep after a few minutes. I'm going to blame the early rising sun...or the 4 month sleep regression. You are still very hit or miss with your naps but you are officially out of your Love to Dream Swaddle Up and just sleeping in a sleep sack all day, every day!

You truly brighten up every room, Kai Bear. Your smile is so infectious and your little giggles make my heart flutter. We started a new little tradition this last month, too. Every Thursday that we can, we've started going to the farmer's market during my lunch break. We get lunch and eat it in the park and then stroll around and get some goodies from all the stands. I get so excited to go with you and look forward to it every week. I can't wait to start more traditions with you like this as time goes on. I read something incredible a couple weeks ago and it went something like this "you only get 18 summers with them, cherish every single one of them to the fullest." While I know we'll remain close when you become an adult and go off to college, I couldn't help but resonate with this and take it to heart. I want to cherish every single little thing with you for the next how every many years possible. I love you more than I can ever imagine loving anything my handsome baby boy. Let's have the best summer ever!

I want to start out by saying that breastfeeding isn't for everyone and that is 100% ok. I don't exclusively nurse and we also supplement with formula on the occasion. I feel as long as you feed your baby, that is all that matters. Also, I am not here to give medical advice. This post is strictly about my journey with breastfeeding and what has worked to get us to this 4 month point. Please do not take my advice as scientific fact or evidence and if you have any questions or concerns I encourage you to always ask your doctor.

Oh the beauty of breastfeeding. It is a wonderful thing us mothers are able to do for our babies. I knew from the time I got pregnant that I wanted to try breastfeeding. I've always heard about the benefits of it from a health standpoint as well as the perks of how it can help prevent colic and SIDs. Also, formula can be very expensive. So why not go the free route if I'm able to and take advantage of it's added perks?

Well it's not that simple for some women, me included. I was a formula fed baby (and I think I turned out fine? ;) ), so I wasn't lucky to have my mom as a reference on what to do when it came to this part of caring for our baby. I wanted to try though and I knew it would be hard, but I didn't realize how hard it would be.

At first, I hated it. I wanted to give up. Due to the time of day Kai was born, things at our hospital were moving a little slow and I didn't get a chance to attempt to feed him until he was about 4 hours old. Not a great start. My first piece of advice to all you expecting mamas out there, demand they help you feed your baby within the first hour of their life. It is SO important. The first hour is when they are the most alert and their instinct to nurse is at its highest. After the hour to hour and half mark, they start to get sleepy. This is exactly what happened with Kai and that's where the latch problems started. He refused to latch on and then the cycle of fear began. I was worked up about him not latching so he would get worked up. I think we had 1 successful latch on 1 side the entire 3 days we were at the hospital. By day 5, Kai had lost too much weight when we went to his first doctors appointment, and we were instructed to give him formula for the time being. Our pediatrician told me to pump to get my milk to come in because Kai wasn't doing it for me and we needed it to come in ASAP. This is my second piece of advice, PUMP. If you have any kind of latch issues after a couple of days, please just pump. Don't let the hospital staff talk you out of it. They told me some crazy rule of waiting 3 weeks to try pumping at all and if I had listened to this it probably would have been too late or I wouldn't have been able to breastfeed Kai at all. He needed there to be a flow to get it at this point. I understand the concern over nipple confusion between bottles and breasts but we also have to remember, in the end we need to feed our babies. It doesn't matter how you do it, any way is fine. Formula, breast, pumped, it's all wonderful and gives them what they need.

I'm not going to sugar coat this for all of you, our first week of life with Kai and feeding him was awful. Down right awful. After that doctors appointment things did start to turn around but I was miserable with the breastfeeding side of it. What we did for days 5-9 was attempt to breastfeed for 10-15 min (failed every time), I would pump for 15 min, and Caleb would bottle feed him formula. We did this 10 times a day. The first two days of pumping I got little drops if I was lucky but then it started to come in! I was so excited and we were able to give him that pumped breast milk before giving him the formula. He was gaining some weight back, sleeping better, and going to the bathroom again. My third piece of advice is use regular baby bottles. Do not use the pre-mix bottles and the nipples that come with them. They flow way too fast and this definitely made us take steps backward in terms of him latching on to me. We realized this after a day or two and started using our baby bottles that we had bought. The ones that came out the winner and I truly believed helped with his nipple confusion were the Dr. Brown's bottles. We still use these bottles today, and he still loves to nurse. Then on day 9, it happened. He latched on to me! We got in a full feeding! A 40 minute feeding! It was amazing and the biggest relief aside from actually birthing a healthy baby. The next day we went back to our doctor for a weight check and he was back at his birth weight.

Next came the clogged duct/mastitis. At around 1 month I started not feeling well. I was really achy, my left breast was really hurting, and I started getting a red spot on it. I started to panic that I had mastitis. I actually had a full blown panic attack the night the red spot showed up. I was so ready to be done. I was on the verge of making the decision to become an exclusive pumper. For some reason though, this decision broke my heart. I wanted to be successful at nursing him and I wanted to enjoy the closeness nursing brings. At this point I would nurse Kai all day up until his 8pm feeding and for 8pm, 11pm, and 3 am, I would pump and Caleb would bottle feed him on nights he didn't have to go in to the office, otherwise I would take the 3am shift. It was still so exhausting especially because Kai was a very slow eater. Nursing sessions were at least 40 min each time if not 1 hour each time. I had no idea what I was doing and kept trying to play around with the length of times I let him nurse on each side. He was so sleepy while nursing sometimes I thought he was done. He has never really been a baby that pops off when he's good. Trust me, I've tried. The kid could stay latched on for 40 minutes on one side if I let him (I asked our doctor about this and she told me no, 20 min max ha!) Well apparently I was pulling him off too soon because I got clogged on my left side. I gathered myself up after that panic attack though and tried to make a plan. The next day I was going to exclusively pump every 2 hours to get the clog out and we would bottle feed Kai. Well the times didn't really line up with when we usually fed Kai so I took on a bottle feeding session that day. I only had a couple ounces of breast milk to give him (my clogged breast was barely producing any at this point) and I tried to give him formula to finish out the feeding. He straight up refused. He was screaming his head off and I knew he was still hungry. I didn't know what to do so I offered my breast to him and he took it immediately. He looked at me with this look in his eyes of "I only want you, mama" and something in me clicked. He would have to be the one to fix me. We could do this. I wasn't go to give up. I nursed him at every session the rest of that day and by the next day, the red spot had faded away. We had his 1 month checkup that next day, and our pediatrician graciously looked at it for me and told me I was fine. I never got a fever, so I somehow stopped myself from getting mastitis. So my fourth piece of advice is when they are this young try to get them to nurse at least 15 min per side, never go more than 4 hours without nursing or pumping, and even try to pump after you nurse. It's a lot, I know and understand that, but it's very important to empty our breasts often when they are this young and we've just gotten started with our supply. You will avoid clogs as well as start building a stock up so that you can take a break from nursing once in awhile and let Dad feed baby. I will be doing a post on how I beat mastitis soon, too, as it took more than just nursing Kai all day. My fifth piece of advice that I actually received from our doctor is for the first two months switch nursing positions every feeding. I rotated between football and cradle. When our babies are this little their suck isn't very efficient and so all the ducts aren't getting proper suction if we do the same hold every time. So if you switch your position often then each duct should be getting good suction throughout the day.

It was smooth sailing after this for awhile. Then it was time for me to go back to work. Another milestone that I was worried about. Day 1, pump 1 was a disaster for me. I barely pumped an ounce, I was so stressed. It got a little better after that once I got a routine down, but not fully better. I wasn't producing as much as Kai was eating from the bottle. We always feed him till he's full and as he was getting older and bigger he was wanting more. Without nursing my body didn't know that. I would nurse him when I got home from work, but it still wasn't enough for my body to realize it needs to produce more. So that's when I turned to supplements. At first I tried the Honest Company Postnatal Lactation Plus. The primary ingredient in them is fenugreek, which is supposed to really help promote breastmilk production. Unfortunately these did not work for me. It took a lot of trial and error but here is what I have personally noticed has helped with my production:

• Drinking 72 oz of water every day
• Eating oatmeal for breakfast
• Eating 3-5 lactation cookies every day
• Take Legendairy Milk Lactivist 3 times per day
• Take 2 Legendairy Pump Princess pills 3 times per day
• Stopped taking birth control
• Stopped taking allergy medication

The Legendairy Milk supplements took about a week for me to really see a difference with them. They work best when I've been good about drinking water all day. If I am behind on my water intake, I notice a significant decrease. So regardless if you choose to take supplements or not, water is your best friend when it comes to breastfeeding. Eating healthy is very important too, not just for production, but because whatever you put in you, your baby eats, too! Lastly, I stopped taking some additional things that are known to be supply killers. I was put on a progesterone only birth control pill after my 6 week postpartum appointment but I believe this was hindering my supply, too. I also recently started taking allergy pills again thanks to springtime in Chicago and I also noticed a dip with this, too. Our doctor told me that they shouldn't be an issue but once I stopped taking both of these my production has increased even more. So it's something to try if you're struggling, too. My allergies haven't been that bad without taking them and I plan on only taking them if and when I have bad allergy days.

I've been taking the Legendary Milk supplements for about a month and can definitely say they really do help. I take 1 mL of Lactivist with a small glass of water and 2 Pump Princess pills in the morning, after work, and before I go to bed. We're at a point now where we do not have to feed Kai formula anymore and I am slowly but surely building up a stock thanks to Legendairy Milk. I sometimes pump after I nurse Kai, too, and I get an extra ounce or two every time. I was never able to do that in the past. I've also noticed a big difference in the quality of my milk when I pump. There is so much more fat in my milk! Thanks to this, Kai hasn't demanded 8 oz bottles anymore. These supplements really do work, mamas! I encourage you to give them a try if you feel your production isn't where you want it to be. 

Here's a quick round-up of all my breastfeeding tips plus a couple of extras I didn't mention above:

1. Nurse the first hour of life
2. If your baby hasn't latched in the first 2 days, pump to help get your milk to come in
3. Use regular baby bottles to avoid nipple confusion (we use Dr. Brown's)
4. For babies that are 2 months or younger, aim for 15 min per side. If they aren't lasting that long, pump after nursing
5. For the first 2 months, switch nursing positions with every session
6. For babies younger than 4 weeks, nurse them every 2 hours and never go more than 4 hours without feeding
7. Drink plenty of water all day
8. Pump or nurse at least 8 times per day for the first 2 months, 6 times per day after that
9. Avoid birth control pills and allergy medicine
10. Avoid fenugreek and use Legendairy Milk supplements

I have a coupon code for Legendairy Milk, too! It is DAPPER. Use it at checkout for 15% off your entire order.

I honestly love nursing now. It is my time with Kai and I dread the day he either doesn't want to nurse anymore or it's just time to wean. I personally do not enjoy pumping anymore but I gotta do what I gotta do to get that milk while I work! It's a complete 180 from the beginning though. I am so glad I stuck with it. I have Kai to thank for keeping me motivated and not letting me give up. So mamas, I know it is a very exhausting and time consuming commitment you've made, but if you have that drive to breastfeed then I encourage you to stick with it. It's hard work, but you can do it! You're all amazing moms, regardless. If any of you have any questions, need someone to talk to, or some more motivation, I'm always here for you!

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This post was not sponsored. However, I am a Legendairy Milk ambassador and was provided my code for my readers as a part of the program. If my readers use my code to purchase Legendairy Milk products, I will receive Legendairy Milk cash credit. Thank you to Legendairy Milk for this amazing opportunity and supporting our journey here at Tiny Dapper Fox. All opinions are my own and 100% honest and authentic.

Happy Hump Day everyone! I hope you all had a great long weekend. We we're very fortunate and had Monday off of work and were able to spend all weekend together. Saturday we ran some errands as a family and got some gardening done! I was so motivated last year to get our front garden looking great but then I got pregnant and basically missed summer. So this is the year! I know absolutely nothing about gardens and plants though so I've got some learning to do. If any of you have any tips for me please share them with me below! On Sunday and Monday we went to a couple of BBQs to kick off summer and celebrate Memorial Day. I want to personally thank all the men and women who serve our country and fight for our freedom. You are all incredible men and women.

How is Kai Bear 4 months old already!? I seriously can't believe how fast time is flying with this little one of ours. He is just getting more and more fun by the day. I wake up every day and wonder what amazing thing he is going to do today. Here are the highlights from this past month...

Weight: 17.12 lbs
Height: 24 in

We had a big month full of adventures! We celebrated Cinco de Mayo, you were baptized, and we spent my first Mother's Day together! You got to officially meet your new friend Avie Jo at Cinco de Mayo and you were both so fascinated by each other! Your baptism was such a beautiful day. You didn't cry at all and actually enjoyed getting the holy water poured on you. You looked absolutely adorable in your outfit but most importantly, it was so wonderful to celebrate you becoming a Child of God with all of our family. Then there was Mother's Day. You made this day so incredibly special for me, Kai. We spent the whole day together and I couldn't have asked for a better day. I will always remember that day. Thank you for making me a mama, little one!

So you love to eat and sleep. You've started eating around 30 oz a day and you sleep around 15 hours a day. You're still sleeping through the night and have gotten rid of your late evening nap. You also started sleeping in the Love to Dream Up swaddle now! We had to switch from the Swaddle Me Originals because you kept trying to get your arms out every night. You'd sometimes wake up pretty mad that you were stuck, ha! You've grown so much that you don't really fit any of your 0 to 3 month clothes anymore, too. We've been rocking all your new 3 to 6 month clothes and you always look so dang handsome. One of my favorite things we have for you is your little R2D2 PJs. Whenever you wear them I always call you little R2 and you think it's so funny! You've also started growing more hair, too! Its finally catching up to the size of your head ;)

Your little noises these days just kill me. You started doing this loud scream laugh earlier this month and it actually scared me at first! I thought you all of a sudden burst out crying, but instead you had the biggest smile on your face! It's hilarious when you do it! You also love to do this cute little screech and Dad calls you a screeching eagle when you do it. May 18th was a very special day though. On that day, you laughed for the first time. A real big laugh. You did it while being propped up in your boppy and I was tickling you behind your armpits. Mom and Dad were both home and it was a moment we will cherish forever! You also are so in love with Wrigley. You two are basically best friends now. You guys always do tummy time together and you've started petting him! We also started reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone to you. Dad bought you the illustrated edition and we read a little bit every night. You've been enjoying it so much, especially looking at all the pictures!

Kai, you make my heart burst right out of my chest. I look at you and I can feel it fluttering. I love you more than I ever thought possible. I look forward to every single moment of every single day with you. You are truly my everything, Little Kai Bear.

PS - I wanted to let you all know that in light of the Cosmo After Dark series fiasco on Snapchat, I have decided to join the movement of #byesnapchat and have deactivated my account. There is a push for a mass deactivation on June 1st and I encourage you all the ask questions or do some research on the topic. As a parent, I'd personally like to see Snapchat as a thing of past now. So #byesnapchat! You can always see our fun daily photos and video clips on my Instagram/Stories though! Have a wonderful week, everyone!